"The Greater the Truth, The Greater the Libel"

Sunday, September 12, 2006

News  | Rumor  | Innuendo  | Slander  | Funnies!

Bush observes 9/11 anniversary with partisan stumping, photo ops

The President began the week leading up to the 9/11 observances at the Capitol Hilton,
appearing before the Military Officers Association of America, announcing, "I'm proud to be your Commander-in-Chief." Reports of hardened combat officers blanching and falling faint have not been confirmed.

He began his speech by invoking the specter of events that fateful day of 9/11:

"We remember the horror of watching planes fly into the World Trade Center, and seeing the towers collapse before our eyes. We remember the sight of the Pentagon, broken and in flames. We remember the rescue workers who rushed into burning buildings to save lives, knowing they might never emerge again. We remember My Pet Goat..."

Two types of dangerous religious extremists

He went on to identify the two types of dangerous religious extremists: Sunnis and Shia. The Sunnis, represented by Al Qaeda, wish to create what they call a Caliphate, a totalitarian Islamic empire, stretching from the Euphrates River in Iraq, across the Middle East, North Africa and Europe, to former Muslim lands in Spain. We have seen what such a regime would look like: religious zealots controlling every aspect of private life, with even children prevented from things like kite flying!

The Shia, represented by the state of Iran, has stated its intent to force Western Nations to "bow down before the greatness of [Islam]." As Christian nations, we will not allow this to happen.

(BUSH WACK - Page 2)

Schwartzenegger popularity surges among memory-impaired voters

California voters, apparently forgetting every last thing they've observed over the past three years, are once again preparing to vote for a candidate who they

elected as a "moderate Republican" only to turn on them after the election like a rabid wolverine.

For those who live in other parts of the country, or those California voters who may have lost the thread of this little narrative, let's recap:

After 16 consecutive years of Republican leadership in the statehouse, including eight years under Schwartzenegger's mentor Pete Wilson, legislation mandating deregulation of energy trading had allowed unprincipled hyenas like Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling of Enron free reign in California's suddenly wide-open energy markets, allowing them to engineer a "crisis" whereby they defrauded California ratepayers to the tune of tens of billions of dollars.

(IMPAIRED - Local)

Report: Pollution
turns fish "queer"

Christian Coalition calls for sharp increases to EPA budget

Scientists say abnormal "intersex" fish, with both male and female characteristics, have been discovered in the Potomac River and its tributaries across the Capitol Region, raising questions about how contaminants are affecting millions of people who drink tap water there.

"I don't know, and I don't think anybody knows, the answer to that question right now: Is the effect in the fish transferable to humans?" said Thomas Jacobus, general manager of the Washington Aqueduct, which filters river water for residents to drink in the nation's capitol, Arlington and Falls Church, VA.

So far, there is no evidence that tap water from the Potomac is unsafe to drink, according to Jacobus and officials at other area utilities.

Although scientists have not identified the source or sources of the problem, the results appear to suggest that the Potomac River

("Rainbow" Trout? - Science)